A Chama Violeta (The Violet Flame)

My dearest Earth friends,

This is Tourmalayne speaking. How are you doing? How has the Earth journey been for you so far?

I know that times are tough, and while I’m no longer in a leadership position, it is looking likely that things will finally start improving in a physical sense on Earth this year. Which is relieving and feels long overdue.

It is also looking likely that we will finally be able to meet you face to face this year. I can’t tell you how much I am looking forward to that. I have waited a very long time for this moment.

Although of course, waiting in a comfortable situation is much easier than waiting on a world that is metaphorically on fire. I do empathize with you very much, and I think you are doing amazing.

You are so very much worthy of respect and love.

Let’s turn to today’s topic.

First some disclaimers: people are different. What I say in this message will not apply to everyone.

On the other hand, just because you had dinner doesn’t mean that global hunger has been solved. In other words, perhaps what I say genuinely doesn’t apply to you or to your loved ones, but still there are many people out there whom it does apply to. Even if you happen not to personally know them.

Who you happen to know personally isn’t a statistically representative sample of the entire population.

Also, if something doesn’t feel good emotionally or doesn’t sound nice, then that doesn’t automatically mean it’s false. Now, you should absolutely listen to your intuition or guidance. However, don’t confuse your emotions with intuition or guidance.

Now then, let’s begin.

In the right context, the vast majority of people will turn into monsters. And yes, this absolutely applies to spiritual people too.

For example, Earth’s Milgram experiment found that most people are willing to administer what they thought was a fatal shock to an innocent person, just because an authority figure told them to.

Even people who are fundamentally kind and good-hearted and who want to do the right thing, can be encouraged to do horrible things if they’re in enough pain and fear, and if they’re told that it is the fault of those people over there.

I know it sounds silly if I say it like this, but it is grim reality. It doesn’t matter that it’s not logical, because if you subject people to enough pain and fear, they no longer think logically, and they can be quite easily convinced that their suffering is the fault of those people over there.

Huge amounts of people from perfectly respectable countries have been convinced to support imperialistic wars, genocides, discriminatory regimes, et cetera. Even those people who have enough sense to realize that it is wrong will often just keep quiet and keep their head down — which is better than actively supporting the injustice, but it is not really fixing the situation either.

This applies to all Earth humans, not just to some Earth humans. In fact, it applies to us Pleiadians too. If a Pleiadian child was sufficiently hurt and traumatized and terrorized, and was then repeatedly told that a certain group of people were at fault for that, that Pleiadian would dislike that group and would quite possibly support unfair treatment of that group. Or at least, that Pleiadian would be cold and uncaring if others inflicted unfair treatment on people of that group.

Furthermore, not all, but many Earth women have been deeply hurt and scared, quite often by men. That happens far too often and it’s awful.

Even those Earth women who haven’t explicitly had something horrible happen to them, still grew up in a profoundly sick and predatory and unsafe and lonely society. And women have been repeatedly told that this is the fault of men.

So this whole, almost silly-sounding pattern, where people get hurt and terrorized and are told that a certain group is at fault, and then they turn hostile or at the very least cold and callous towards that group?

This is what has happened and is happening to many Earth women. They get hurt and scared, and they are told by society that men are the problem.

As a result, Earth women are often cold and callous towards average men (not towards that small group of exceptional or very likeable men, but towards average men).

Because of this, a not insignificant minority of women pushes for female interests even to the point where it amounts to systemic discrimination against men. Sure, most women don’t do that, but most women also don’t lift a finger to oppose the women who are doing that. And the number of women who are actively working for men’s rights is nearly zero.

Men generally are more concerned with women’s well-being than with their own well-being. That is why your society is supposedly rigged by men for the interests of men, but meanwhile breast cancer research gets several times more funding than prostate cancer research.

If all those male CEOs and male rich people were actually rigging society to benefit men, then prostate cancer would get more funding than breast cancer research, not less.

Yes, exceptions always exist, but by and large, men care more about the wellbeing of women as a group, than about the wellbeing of men as a group.

Meanwhile, women also care more about the wellbeing of women as a group than about the wellbeing of men as a group.

And that’s a problem. If John and Anne are married, and John mostly cares about Anne’s best interests, and Anne mostly cares about Anne’s best interests… then do you think that has a happy ending? For either John or Anne?

Men by and large genuinely are trying to be good towards women as a group, and too many women aren’t returning the favor.

Now women might object and say that breast cancer funding is still patriarchal and objectifying, because it’s just men protecting their female property. Well first of all, I think that’s a wildly uncharitable and very unfair interpretation. Second, the argument also doesn’t make sense, because obviously a purely self-interested man would care more about not dying to prostate cancer himself than he would care about preventing breast cancer in his wife.

The reality is that men aren’t selfish patriarchs who view women as property. Sure, a few exceptions always exist, but most men simply genuinely care about women and want the best for them.

Furthermore, underneath the “women are objectified” argument is the assumption that men are inherently valued and respected, while women are only valued for their bodies. Regardless of whether that was ever true, it’s certainly not true today.

Men are seen as inherently having zero value, and the only value they have is what useful things they can do. Meanwhile women can also earn value points by being able to do useful things, and on top of that women are also seen as just being inherently valuable. Which we saw with breast cancer versus prostate cancer research funding.

Frankly, I think men are objectified harder by your society than women are, because men are assigned zero inherent worth. Men are being objectified as disposable worker robots.

Wouldn’t you rather be assigned some inherent worth as a woman, than be assigned zero inherent worth as a man?

Sure beautiful women by default are mostly just valued for their bodies, but they can earn respect and acclaim by becoming a respected spiritual teacher or entrepreneur for example. The same thing that men need to do to be seen as having any value, women can do those same things to earn additional value that isn’t tied to their body.

Now yes, a few men are highly privileged, but they’re a tiny minority. Most average men don’t benefit in any way from those guys existing, as we already discussed.

So: women are hurt and scared, and are told that it’s the fault of men.

As a result, a not insignificant minority of women pushes for female interests even to the point where it amounts to systemic discrimination against men. Practically zero men and practically zero women actively oppose them. Sure, people might think it’s bad, but they’re not out there in the streets protesting for male rights. So the unfairness progresses.

Furthermore, men can’t oppose this even if they wanted to because of the soft power that women wield, and because of how pro-woman most men and most women are. Namely: a man who announces at work that he’s a men’s right activist might very well get fired outright, using some convenient excuse.

As a result, how your society treats men has become completely unacceptable. Let’s look at some examples.

I consider your education system to be abusive towards boys. Sure, it’s not great for girls either. However, forcing boys to sit still for eight hours per day, and forcing them to repeat back what the teacher tells them, frankly sounds like something adjacent to torture for boys. Especially when boys are literally being drugged for acting like boys. No wonder that often boys’ spirit is broken and their masculinity is squashed by the time they leave education.

Back when my children were young, I would rather have been struck blind than have put even one of my sons through Earth schooling.

If I was living on Earth, I might very well have gone scorched earth against your school system.

I don’t understand why Earth women aren’t marching in the streets to demand that education stops destroying their sons.

Furthermore, imagine if an entire culture plus school system taught black children that black people are the problem, that black people have historically been the problem, that black people are inferior and that we need less black people and more white people in positions of power. Imagine that pretty much all media depicts black people as being inferior to white people.

Wouldn’t you consider that to be abusive against those black children?

I would. And this is pretty much what is happening to boys: they’re told that they’re the problem, that they’ve been the problem, that masculinity is toxic, that masculine politics i.e. right-wing politics is evil and vile, et cetera.

No matter how much women have been hurt by men, obviously abusing boys cannot possibly be the answer.

Mothers, why aren’t you marching in the streets to protect your sons?

Would you march in the streets if your daughters were told that women are the problem, that women have historically been the problem, that femininity is toxic, et cetera? Yes, you probably would. So then, why aren’t you marching in the street to offer the same protection to your sons?

Is it because you yourself believe, at least on some level, that men indeed are the problem? Aha, here we come back to the observation that women have been hurt and scared and have been told that men are the problem, and that women by and large have bought into that. After all, hurt and scared people will believe it if they’re told that a certain group is the problem, even if that’s not true.

I certainly wouldn’t want any boy to be raised by any parent who thinks men are bad and men are the problem. Can you imagine how awful that must be for that boy?

If you don’t see the problem there, imagine a black child being raised by a parent who thinks that black people are and historically have been the problem in society.

Let’s look at some more examples of double standards and discrimination against men.

If there aren’t enough female teachers, people will insist that girls need female teachers as role models. If there aren’t enough male teachers… then no one says anything.

Boys are also straight up systematically discriminated against when it comes to teachers grading their work.

Study https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/01425692.2022.2122942 finds:

“Results show that, when comparing students who have identical subject-specific competence, teachers are more likely to give higher grades to girls. Furthermore, they demonstrate for the first time that this grading premium favouring girls is systemic, as teacher and classroom characteristics play a negligible role in reducing it.”

Things don’t improve when men grow up.

Back when more men attended university, women demanded women-only scholarships. Now that more women attend university, women don’t say anything, and still there are more women-only scholarships while already more women attend university.

Meanwhile, women still expect men to make at least as much money as them, and to be as highly educated and as high status as them.

Many employers also discriminate against men during hiring processes. Several experiments confirmed that resumes with female names got significantly more responses than the exact same resumes with male names.

This sort of forces men into less comfortable, more demanding, more dangerous jobs. Indeed, something like 95% of workplace fatalities are male.

Also, the draft only applies to men.

If a man struggles, it doesn’t get better.

Psychology is very much aimed at helping women, operating on a “talk about your feelings” basis. If society actually cared about men, a type of psychology would also be commonly available that was much more practical and action-oriented and was about which tangible steps a person can take to build a good life.

If a man is abused or raped, he often won’t be taken seriously.

Women abusing men is relatively more common than people think. And in that case, the man often can’t physically defend himself or call the police, or he’ll be the one who ends up in handcuffs. After all, police are heavily biased against men.

In Britain, rape is legally defined as nonconsensually penetrating someone with a penis, which means that women can’t rape men according to that definition. Note that feminists aren’t holding rallies to have that changed. Feminists merely offer lip service to the idea of helping men, while taking tangible and real action to promote female interests.

Female-only shelters exist, but there are practically zero male shelters. Radical feminists tend to have male shelters shut down.

Many men and many women don’t tolerate weakness in men. A huge part of the reason why men don’t feel comfortable working through their emotions is that many people — yes, including many women — lose respect or attraction for men who show weakness, or even dump them.

Men receive harsher sentences than women for the same crimes.

Divorce court is hugely biased in favor of women. Also, most divorces are initiated by women.

If a woman has a low libido, people tell the man to be a better partner to her, or to just live without much sex. If a man has a low libido, people tell the man to fix his issue, and if he can’t then they advise the woman to leave him.

If a woman can’t orgasm, the man needs to fix something. If a man can’t orgasm, the man needs to fix something.

If men try to talk to other men, sometimes that’s mocked as “hanging out with the bros.”

Male-only clubs are literally illegal, while female-only clubs aren’t. Some women work very hard to make sure that men don’t have male-only spaces. Simultaneously, of course women should be allowed to have female-only spaces.

As a result of all this, something like eighty percent of people taking their life are men.

Now yes, it is true that most rapists and most violent criminals are men. And yes, some men are sexist. Obviously this is unacceptable, obviously too many men do bad things, and those men should stop doing that.

However, surely it’s not okay to engage in collective punishment against men just because some men do bad things.

The answer to a number of individual men doing bad things shouldn’t be to punish all men.

Imagine being in favor of systemic discrimination against black people just because black people currently commit more crimes in America. Everyone would immediately see that this would be both deeply unfair and highly counterproductive. Well, it’s also deeply unfair and highly counterproductive to engage in systemic discrimination against men.

And surely mistreating boys has to be both deeply unfair and highly counterproductive as well. In fact, if people are concerned about the negative behavior of men, then they should be trying to make sure that boys aren’t disadvantaged compared to girls during their childhood, as they currently are. I mentioned some points earlier that could be improved.

Furthermore, note that if any group underperforms or statistically does more bad things, then the answer is always that this group is apparently being discriminated against and we should help that group. But when it comes to men…. then suddenly people in this group are just inherently bad in certain ways and they need to do better. Men are the only group that is just inherently bad, apparently.

Even if we believe that rich men and male CEOS reached their position via unfair means, then it still wouldn’t be fair to collectively punish men for that.

The vast majority of men are good people, and are being horribly discriminated against.

If women faced systemic discrimination, such as receiving harsher sentences for the same crimes, then women would be demanding that men help them. And rightfully so. But that also means that women owe it to men to help men in this situation, where men are the ones facing systemic discrimination.

It’s not fair to demand help when you’re the one who needs help, and then refuse to help the other side when they need help.

Now yes, life genuinely is very hard for Earth women. I am absolutely not denying that. In fact, it hurts my heart to see just how tough life is for most Earth women. My sisters, you do genuinely deserve so much better than this.

However, just because life is hard for Earth women, doesn’t mean that Earth women are being uniquely oppressed. In fact, if we don’t exclusively look at privileged men, then we see that overall women are more privileged than men are, in the West in 2025. I just gave a lot of arguments to support that statement.

Women have it very hard, and men have it even worse than women on average. Indeed, 80% of suicides are men.

Men can’t fix this situation by themselves, because no one listens to male men’s rights activists, and furthermore men can easily get their lives destroyed for being men’s rights activists.

The only way out of this situation, the only way for your society to heal and to move forward, is for women to openly speak out for and work for men’s rights.

And that really isn’t such a crazy request to make to women. If John and Anne are married, and John mostly cares about Anne’s best interests, then Anne really should be caring about John’s best interests too. Anne should actually take some tangible action sometimes to promote John’s best interests.

If Anne adopts a stance of “I expect John to care for my best interests, and I’m not going to lift a finger for John’s best interests” then the marriage won’t work. And if women do that on a societal scale, then your society is not going to work.

Galactics who aren’t used to the Earth situation typically don’t understand why there aren’t million-women marches that demand that divorce court becomes fair towards men. Because that’s what pretty much all women except Earth women would do if there was a huge amount of structural unfairness against men.

I remember one younger, not as spiritually advanced galactic woman asking: “why do Earth women think that their behavior is evolved enough to live on New Earth?”

Some galactics also think there is a strange lack of Earth women taking a bit of time to put themselves in the shoes of average men (not in the position of men who are doing well, but in the position of average men). If Earth women did that, I think they’d be horrified.

Frankly, most women have zero idea what life is like for an average man. Or what things look like from a men’s point of view.

Suppose that there was a movement called masculinism. Suppose that historically it only promoted male interests, sometimes in a reasonable way, but also sometimes by blatantly pushing discrimination against women. And suppose that masculinists refuse to kick blatant women-haters out of the movement. Suppose that men told women that this movement was after true gender equality, and that women should support this movement because it was beneficial for women too. Would women believe that? Absolutely not.

This proves that some women haven’t taken ten minutes to put themselves in the shoes of average men, or to wonder what feminism looks like if you’d gender-swap the situation. Because feminism is exactly as ridiculous as the hypothetical example of masculinism I just gave.

So, with all this said… are Earth women acting like this because they’re evil?

No. It’s the pattern I described: hurt and frighten a group of people, and tell them that men are the problem, and they will believe that men are the problem, and they will likely become cold and callous towards men.

Any group of people, including us galactics, are vulnerable to this. It merely happens that right now women are being affected this way.

Because yes, women are getting hurt, and yes, some men do treat women atrociously. Some men do hurt women.

However, if someone gets robbed by a black person, or if someone sees that a Jewish person does something evil, then it’s incorrect to conclude that black people or Jewish people are the problem, or that they are evil as a group. Similarly, even if certain women are hurt by men, that doesn’t prove that men are the problem or that men as a group are evil.

Still, women are hurt and scared, and women are being told that men are the problem.

And clearly, some men have acted atrociously towards women in the past. Now, this point is a bit overblown — a lot of oppression came not from human men but from hostile extraterrestrials who took on the shape of human men.

Also, historical women lacked certain rights but they also didn’t have to fight in wars. Women like to compare their lot in life to the position of privileged men, however being a 12 year old boy and being forced to go to war really isn’t a picnic either. Because yes, that too was part of history.

So the tyranny of the historical patriarchs is a point that’s a bit overblown. Still, just because it’s overblown doesn’t mean that there’s not some truth to it. Yes, women certainly have been mistreated in the past. And women are still being mistreated today in some parts of the world.

Ultimately however, it doesn’t help to collectively punish present-day men just because some historical men did bad things.

So, what should be done?

Anyone who is hurt or scared — men and women — should go inside and work on their own healing. It is understandable that hurt people feel an urge to hurt or control others, but it’s not helpful.

The narrative that men are privileged should end. Because average men are actually less privileged than average women are, in the West in 2025. Yes, women’s lives are hard, but that’s not due to unique oppression that women face. Men’s lives are on average even harder.

The demonization of men should end.

And the structural discrimination against men and boys should end. Far too many boys get destroyed by your society and by your education and by your cultural messaging before they ever get a chance to blossom. Which is an unspeakable tragedy.

Male men’s rights activists aren’t listened to and frequently have their lives destroyed. So women will have to speak up for male rights. And frankly, that would simply be the fair thing to do at this current point.

The good news is that if women help men out, then women too will benefit from that. After all, a huge part of the reason why your society is declining, and why women struggle to find good partners, is because masculinity is so demonized and has been destroyed in so many men.

If men weren’t getting so destroyed by society, they would be standing up more and being more productive, and that would contribute hugely towards fixing society. Which would obviously benefit women too.

I get that women are hurting themselves already, but sometimes the way out of your own pain is to give someone else a hand — because statistically men are killing themselves at a substantially higher rate than women are. And in turn, helping men helps women too. If there are healthy masculine men around, everyone benefits.

You don’t necessarily have to spend a huge amount of time and energy on men’s rights. Even just occasionally speaking up in favor of justice for men, whenever a relevant topic comes up in conversation around you, would make a big difference.

With all my love,

This was Tourmalayne

• https://eraoflight.com/2024/12/31/the-current-system-has-failed/

• http://www.ancientawakenings.org/
• http://www.meetup.com/ancient-awakenings