A Chama Violeta (The Violet Flame)

My dearest brothers and sisters,

 

This is Tunia speaking. I love you so very much.

 

Humans are a communal species. Being loved and accepted by the group is a need that most humans have.

 

Maybe you personally don’t feel that need anymore, but almost certainly you felt that need when you were a child and perhaps a young adult. This makes sense, because children and teenagers are dependent for their well-being or even survival on being accepted by other people

 

However, to remain loved and accepted, children are often indirectly told that they need to suppress parts of themselves. For example, children are told that they’re not allowed to get angry, or they’re not allowed to be lazy, or they should stop daydreaming, or they need to be practical, or they need to be responsible, or they should suppress their innate food or bedtime preferences and instead they should eat or sleep as they’re told.

 

Now, parents don’t do this because they’re evil. To an extent, this is simply necessary: you shouldn’t allow a child to just always eat or do what it wants. And if you don’t do what is considered socializing a child, they might get into trouble at school. Now, Earth education is very problematic, but an individual parent may have little choice but to conform to it, which may mean teaching their child to suppress parts of itself so that the child can be squeezed into the education mold.

 

Now, to an extent, telling children what to do and what not to do is completely fine and doesn’t harm them. But if a child is for example never allowed to get angry, then most likely a split will be created inside the child. The angry part of the child will be split off and become a repressed inner part.

 

This repressed part is conscious, it knows what is going on, it has emotions and opinions and you can talk to it. But it is not the dominant part of the child’s personality: the dominant part of the child’s personality will be one without anger, because that’s what the child needs to be to remain safe in an environment that doesn’t tolerate anger.

 

It’s entirely possible that a person’s angry part will be split off when they’re a child, and then thirty years later they’re not even aware anymore that they have an internal angry inner part. They just think of themselves as a person who doesn’t get angry, and they just think that’s their personality. And sure, people exist who genuinely don’t get angry and who genuinely don’t have an angry inner part. Yet, people also exist who don’t get angry because their anger was split off into a repressed inner part of themselves.

 

Similarly, a child’s home might be very chaotic, and the parents may be either literally or metaphorically absent, and so the child may decide at a very young age to take care of their younger brother or sister, possibly without someone explicitly telling them to do so. In this case, the part of the child that is immature and that just wants to be a normal carefree child might get split off because the child feels that it needs to be responsible and mature at a very young age. And adults might marvel at how responsible this child is, but the truth is that there may be an unhappy, suppressed inner child inside the person.

 

Or a child might get bullied at school and not get any help, and they might create a personality that can either fight off bullies or that seemingly doesn’t care about being bullied. This kind of fabricated protector personality can be functional in the short term, but the more vulnerable and in-pain parts of the child’s personality might again get split off and become unconscious.

 

Most people on Earth have several suppressed, split-off, probably unconscious parts within themselves.

 

This is part of why sometimes the people around you can strangely and dramatically change their mind, or suddenly turn warm or cold, or make sudden drastic decisions, or not keep their word. They don’t literally have several personalities, but suppressed parts of their personality are sometimes poking their head through and sometimes not, which means that sometimes a person behaves a bit differently than normal.

 

I recommend that people work to integrate split-off parts of themselves. I also recommend that people try not to bulldoze split-off parts of themselves. Why? Well, doing so will positively contribute to your happiness and mental health and feeling of everything being alright.

 

So, how do you integrate split-off parts of yourself? Well, if you feel a sudden urge in a direction that’s not normal for you, consider observing it, and if appropriate consider doing it. So if you loved to draw as a child, but haven’t drawn in decades, and now suddenly you feel an urge to draw again, feel free to do so. And don’t worry about the quality or the drawing. This urge to draw might be an unintegrated inner child poking its head through and wanting to play. And doing so might help integrate this part of you.

 

Or if you feel an almost unreasonable or irrational resistance to something, see if you can come to an arrangement with that inner part of you. For example, if you have an appointment but you suddenly really want to stay home, then consider either staying home, or at least clearing some stay-home time in your calendar in the near future.

 

You can think “is there a part of me that wants this” (or that doesn’t want this). The first thing that pops into your mind may be that inner part of you answering — or it might just be mind noise.

 

Often you will have a pretty decent idea of what parts of your personality might be suppressed. If you feel like you’re not allowed to do something, or if you feel a very strong pull towards something, that might point to a suppressed part of your personality.

 

If you simply engage in a healthy manner in those activities that a certain split-off part of you wants, without resisting it, then that part of you will after a time automatically reintegrate into you, which is a very positive thing. That will make you more whole.

 

The second thing that I mentioned is not bulldozing parts of yourself. So for example, if you weren’t allowed to get angry as a child and now as an adult you feel anger coming up, then if possible allow yourself to get angry.

 

Sure, common sense is still important. Perhaps don’t get angry at work. But then if possible allow yourself to get angry back at home, for example. If you weren’t allowed to get angry as a child, and as an adult you keep suppressing your anger in all situations, then you’re bulldozing parts of yourself.

 

Unfortunately, Earth’s spiritual community sometimes nudges people in the direction of bulldozing parts of themselves.

 

For example, if a person had a bad childhood and they say that they haven’t forgiven their parents, then many spiritual people will think that he or she isn’t very spiritually advanced yet. On the other hand, if someone says they had a bad childhood and they have forgiven their parents, then many spiritual people will think of that second person as quite spiritually advanced.

 

Now, if someone genuinely forgives people who wronged them, and has no inner parts that are still unhappy or unseen, then that is indeed a quite advanced spiritual state. However, what often happens on Earth is that people say “I forgive those who wronged me” when they have inner parts that aren’t ready to forgive yet. And that, in fact, is a person bulldozing the parts of themselves that aren’t yet ready to forgive.

 

Similarly, in Earth’s spiritual community people get praise if for example they say that they’re risen above political division and they love both sides equally. Yet, probably these people have inner parts in themselves who prefer one of the political sides over the other. And that’s okay, I too have political preferences. It’s not unspiritual to have political preferences.

 

Similarly, in Earth’s spiritual community people get praise if they act like they’re always at peace and feeling love for everyone. And if people genuinely feel that way, that’s absolutely fantastic. But what happens more often is that people simply suppress parts of themselves that aren’t at peace and that don’t love everyone. Which is them bulldozing themselves, and frankly in the long term that’s less healthy than people just being authentic and just being themselves.

 

Similarly, in Earth’s spiritual community people get praise if they say they believe in and live by certain spiritual principles, such as “everything happens for a reason.” But then those same people lock their front door, thereby proving that they don’t actually believe that everything happens for a reason.

 

In reality, some things indeed are orchestrated by your soul for your highest good, however other things just happen and aren’t necessarily happening for your highest good. And people know that on some level, which is why people lock their front door.

 

And yes there is a divine plan, but it works on a large scale. The divine plan doesn’t micromanage everything on a small scale.

 

So basically, a problem with Earth’s spiritual community is that the quickest way to get praise and acceptance and status and a partner is to bulldoze parts of yourself and present only the parts of you that seem pure and spiritually advanced. Even though that’s unhealthy.

 

People might protest this and say they value authenticity, but it’s actually quite hard to sense the impurity in someone who has thoroughly suppressed their so-called unspiritual parts. Which is why you have people absolutely worshipping certain spiritual teachers who then later abuse their followers for money or sex, or who later form cults.

 

Because that’s what happens when people suppress parts of themselves: they initially seem great but then later on their suppressed parts start poking their head through.

 

Though in defense of Earth spiritual teachers, they are in a tough situation because many people in the spiritual community will only listen to people who indeed conform quite closely to the ideal of a spiritual teacher. Therefore people who want to make a living in the spiritual community are incentivized to suppress parts of themselves that don’t fit into the framework of the ideal spiritual teacher.

 

And again some people will protest this and say that they value authenticity. Now sure, people are different, however most people only value very specific kinds of authenticity. If a spiritual teacher says that they did bad things during their twenties but now they left that behind and now they’re feeling wonderful every day, then people love that kind of authenticity. Or if a spiritual teacher says they were a little nervous just before one of their events started, that may also be fine.

 

However if a spiritual teacher says that he or she still hasn’t fully healed the wounds from their youth despite years of work and still hasn’t forgiven their parents, then part of their audience will probably stop listening to them. Same if a spiritual teacher says that they’re unable to get over a certain addiction, or if a spiritual teacher says that sometimes they’re depressed, or if a spiritual teacher says that sometimes they wonder if their philosophy actually works, or if a spiritual teacher says that they can’t stop fantasizing about sex… part of their audience will probably stop listening to them.

 

Hence, people only like certain kinds of authenticity in their spiritual teachers.

 

And sure, there’s a good argument to be made that people shouldn’t teach before they’re ready. I agree with that. But it’s also true that if someone who isn’t ready to teach just bulldozes the parts of themselves that the audience won’t like, then they may be able to make a living in the spiritual field. Hence, the spiritual field incentivizes people to bulldoze parts of themselves.

 

Also, for example an energy healer or a tarot card reader will get judged and will get less customers if they don’t present the image of being a spiritually advanced person who is loving life and who has dealt with all their old pain. Even though you can be a perfectly fine energy healer or tarot card reader while still having old unresolved baggage.

 

Despite all the incentives though, I do recommend being authentic and not suppressing parts of yourself, because in the long term that will make you the happiest and that is what will create the highest-quality connections with other people.

 

So, if something arises in you that is supposedly bad according to the spiritual community, I recommend just observing it, and not immediately judging it or trying to suppress it or immediately trying to change it.

 

To be clear though, if for example all parts of you are ready to forgive someone who has wronged you, then it is a very good thing indeed to forgive that person. And if you genuinely love yourself and so do all inner parts of you, then it is completely fine to say that indeed you love yourself. I’m only warning against saying those things if inner parts of you are not on board with that, because then you would be bulldozing those inner parts.

 

If you want something positive in your life, trying to directly go for that thing (such as doing self-love practices) may seem to work or give relief in the short term, but it can bulldoze parts of you that aren’t on board with loving yourself. Instead of doing that, I recommend observing what’s going on inside you, possibly talking to inner parts of you and accommodating the concerns and needs of those inner parts. Then eventually those inner parts will integrate and genuine self-love will naturally arise.

 

You create self-love not by repeating a thousand times that you love yourself. Instead you create self-love by dissolving all barriers to love and taking care of all wounded parts of yourself. Therefore, I don’t actually suggest repeating “I love myself” or “I love life” or “I am love” or something as a mantra, unless all parts of you are genuinely on board with that.

 

Imagine if you’re an unseen inner part of yourself that doesn’t love the greater you, and the greater you starts to insist that it loves itself, and the greater part of you suppresses and denies anything that isn’t self-love. Wouldn’t that make you feel more alone? Conversely, if the greater you takes my suggestion of observing and listening to all parts of itself, then wouldn’t that make you feel more loved and more ready to integrate into the whole?

 

Finally, how can you find repressed parts of yourself? Well, whenever you get triggered, or you have a strong emotional reaction or dislike to something without much reason, or you find yourself behaving in a way that doesn’t make sense even to yourself, then that may very well point to a repressed part of you.

 

Therefore, getting triggered can actually be quite valuable, because it can point you to a part of you that you may need to observe, accept and possibly try to accomodate.

 

Anyone who triggers you is in effect a teacher of you, even if they’re not doing that consciously.

 

And look, you are already amazing, as you are. There may be some amount of darkness and negativity and pain and perhaps resentment in you, and that’s okay — it would be strange if you lived on a world as harsh as Earth and didn’t develop at least some of those feelings.

 

You’re amazing as you are, even with possible negativity and pain and unresolved wounds and all. It’s okay to be yourself, it really is. And even if there’s some amount of darkness and pain in you, you’re still good enough. You are, you always have been and you always will be good enough.

 

With that and with all my love, I wish you a very good week.

 

Your star sister,